It saddens me to say, but people let you down. They disappoint and so seldom do they actually surprise.
In my life, for example, I’m particularly feeling saddened this week because people have once again shown me this is most certainly true.
That’s not to say I’m without blame myself, I’m equally guilty of letting people down. You just have to ask my family or friends at any birthdays! Yet in a way I hope there’s some difference there. I have no deliberate intent to do harm, hurt or offend. As an aside I’m not going to revisit my youth in this discussion!
What I’ve been experiencing these last few weeks have been deliberate and very pointed actions against me. Yet not personally as an individual, most of this is because they aren’t viewing me as a person but as something that’s simply in their way, clashing with their ego or seemingly threatening them in some manner.
Most obviously this has been seen in my commuting to and from work. People in their car aren’t viewing you as a person with feelings, they just see you as something that’s in the way of their arrival at work or their Chinese carry out for tea. It’s good to know that’s what my life is worth to them.
I found great solace in the fact that despite the very physical attack I was subject to that morning, I managed to rise above the anger and pettiness. When a car pulled out in front of me and stopped in the queue with the door slightly ajar, I didn’t get upset. Instead I tapped on the passengers window and let him know his door was open.
A nice thing to do, but what got me was that he was genuinely surprised and his expression turned from a mixture of panic and the readiness to argue, to surprise and happiness. So you could look on the positive side and that was a nice thing to do and that I got a positive response, but how sad that his first reaction was quite judgemental and aggressive. He had assumed that I was going to start an argument, shout at him, or god knows what else.
So this week I’m feeling that people aren’t showing others enough respect and they aren’t looking at the other person as an actual person, trying to understand how they feel, putting themselves in their shoes rather than leaping into a situation. It’s also something you see everyday in work situations.
In most corporate environments people think about themselves, and their position within their team. Some, you might be lucky to find, think about their team within their Business area, but seldom do they think of the entire corporation and what is good for the organisation as a whole. People protect themselves and their immediate surroundings, anything outside that is decoration, noise, or merely in the way to achieve their goal.
Actually, that sounds quite relevant for all the situations I’ve been encountering. That goal being getting to their destination, succeeding in their job, or just getting what they want.
People are selfish, arrogant, self centered and think only of themselves and their goal. Perhaps the immediates around them may aid them achieve that so they observe them more carefully, however everything else is a distraction.
I think that’s perhaps why I find it so hard in a corporate environment. However, the silver lining is that when you do have friends, I mean real friends be they your partner, related or otherwise, they make up for all this negative behaviour and when you really need it, they come through for you and amaze you.
Here’s to my friends, you all know who you are.