Oh my lord, I have never eaten in a place that is as bad as this. It’s a pitiful place to eat, overpriced, messy, poor service, and a distinct lack of food. Interestingly this is the place that overlooks the Royal Yacht Britannia, so tourists walk through the cage to the windows and take a shot of the ship, so Debenhams could have made something of it, selling the view and cross-selling the food…but who would want to?
We popped in because we’d just done some shopping and fancied a little snack. When we went up everything looked good enough, nice Panini’s with some filling coming out the sides, and appetising looking sandwiches, when we looked at the hot food counter however, it looked far less appetising. Food looked greasy and some burnt or dried out, and various foodstuffs had been spilt across the work surfaces and left uncleaned.
We decided on a couple of toasted chicken and bacon panini’s. As we handed them across we were given a number on a tall stand and a mumbled “here you go” from the young gentleman behind the counter. We assumed that this was to identify us and we had to go take a table, only because the person in front of us had done exactly the same thing.
I decided not to have a drink. Soft drinks were in four different flavours and one huge-mega-bucket size only. However we did order a tea. So let’s recap for a moment, two panini’s and a cup of tea…£8.55. I could hardly believe it. Perhaps the panini’s were going to be really good.
The young lady working the till stopped scratching her arm long enough to take our money and we headed off for a seat. Before we sat down though we had to clear the table of the last persons cups and plates. Looking around you could see another six or seven tables empty of people, but filled with their dishes and leftovers.
So we waited, and displayed our number. A few moments later another young man arrived with two plates with hot food.
“Did you order chips and a panini?” he asked. Strange, I thought that’s what the number was for. I told him we were waiting for two panini’s and he was off. A few moments later he returned with two panini’s and put them in front of us, luckily we had ordered the same panini so there was no need to ask who had ordered which.
I was already suspicious of the quality so I opened up mine to have a look. Before I describe what is inside, I’ll point out that mine was roasted vegetables, and the other was cheese and…well…something. I took them up and returned them.
The young lady from the till took my plates back abandoning the till and the queue of people waiting to purchase food. At the same time another customer asked her if she could get someone to serve in the childs section, she said sure as she turned away from them to deal with my food. By this point I was shaking my head at the unbelievable service. The serving area was filled with about five members of staff and none of them seemed to have a clue.
Amazingly our panini’s arrived instantly, and nicely toasted. I asked if these were ours these time, I didn’t want to come back quite frankly, and then returned to the table. Whoever was lucky enough to receive the panini’s we had returned will be delighted to know how well we investigated them before passing them back!
Knowing what to expect now I opened mine for a look. There were two slivers of chicken, one either side of the panini, and when I say sliver I mean a tiny shaved piece, smaller than a tiny flip up mobile phone and much thinner. I reckon that if you took a chicken breast and shaved pieces off of this size you might get about ten to fifteen pieces from one breast.
Along with that was smeared a paste of what tasted to be mainly mayonnaise and some finely shredded bacon. These were so finely shredded that they were the size of peppercorns you use in your grinder, and the paste was spread so thinly you could hardly believe.
Eating it was equally disgusting, tasting of nothing more than warmed mayonnaise, it filled a hole, and five minutes later your stomach was churning.
We can categorically say we will never eat there again. We both agreed that we would have enjoyed a MacDonalds more than this and received better service. Imagine what tourists think coming to this country, arriving to look at the Royal Yacht and want to sit down somewhere to eat? No wonder we are so amazed at the level of service and amount of food we receive when abroad when you compare it to somewhere like this.