We have a new phone that tells you who’s calling, it’s great for finding out who you’ve missed while you’ve been out, and also for recognising sales calls.
So the phone rang this lunchtime with the word INTERNATIONAL across the front, now usually that means sales call. This is infuriating as I’m registered not to receive sales calls. It’s more infuriating as you usually pick up and receive a dead tone, because out of the five numbers they’ve called someone else has answered quicker than you.
When I do get an answer, what I normally do is say hello, let them start their speech, and place the phone somewhere. They’ll get to the end, ask “Hello?” a couple of times, and then hang up.
Today though I was feeling good, I’d just been to the gym and I thought I might have a wee play with them.
The Indian Gentleman greeted me in a questioning tone. We exchanged hello’s a few times and he moved onto some questions.
Interestingly he knew I had a non 3G mobile phone and that my name was Brunton, my lord, perhaps he knows me. Seems not, he thought I was pay as you go, and he seriously underestimated my made up free minutes allowance, my monthly rental and the time left on my contract – If you’re reading any of this in the Indian call centre, I lied.
So after these few questions he hits me with the free mobile claim and then launches into his speech. I’m polite, saying yes and no when required too, and then he pauses to let me speak.
I hit him with what I think will end the call. “I have a Windows Mobile and I use the Microsoft Mobile Applications all the time, I have full Windows synchronisation between these and a PC, and I have Blackberry-type Push email. Unless the phone does all this, I’m not interested.”
He returned to explain to me what video messaging would mean, I could see the other caller, and that they were giving me a thousand minutes a month free.
I repeated my statement, and this is where he became angry. Yes, this Gentleman from India is trying to sell me a UK phone and can’t believe that I didn’t say yes immediately. He grows impatient and repeats the amount of minutes I’d get free.
I repeated my statement, and once again he returns to talk about the phones features in an aggrevated tone.
“You’re not listening to me, I need…” and repeated the statement again. I was talked over a few times until he stopped to finally listen. Once I’d finished he repeated as though he had discovered what I wanted, although he hadn’t actually heard what I needed. I repeated it again. This time he had it and his tone returned to a happy one.
“Yes, this phone has all that!”
This is the point that I asked for the model and manufacturer. He gave me the model, going on and on about the free minutes, and I asked for the manufacturer. At this point he asked me to hold. Well, I’d had enough fun. I laid the phone down and went about finishing making my lunch.
Each time that Gentleman called from India, I answered the phone and laid it down, not hung up, just let him struggle to get an answer. Three attempts later and he’s left me alone. Enjoy the bill.
Now, as I look on the Internet at the LG U300 phone, I discover it only has POP3 email, not Blackberry-type Push (not that I use it, but it was a nice spanner to throw in) and it’s not a Windows Mobile.
Of course it probably wouldn’t have mattered a jot because after they sold it to me they would have claimed it was sold from outside the country hence the Sales of Goods Act doesn’t apply.
You have to wonder what other lies these foreign telephone operators are peddling to unsuspecting people who answer the phone thinking they might be getting a good deal.